҉--- ҉--- ҉ 2010

Robert W. Richards

Robert W. Richards (born 1941) is one of the most prominent and best-known illustrators of the United States. Richards grew up in the industrial town of Sanford in the U.S. state of Maine. He worked for many stars of Show Business (Frank Sinatra, Lena Horne, Anita O'Day, Tony Curtis, Peggy Lee), drew album covers and posters, which proved to be seminal. He also illustrated for the fashion industry. His clients include brands such as Chanel, Valentino, Yves St. Laurent.
As part of the bourgeois wing of the gay rights movement of the 70s, a decade-long love began to "Adoniss" of this scene, the porn stars. Richards captured the fleeting beauty of those modern love gods in countless drawings and interviews. These works provided a stir in the exhibition "Gods of Erotica" in the Leslie-Lohman Gay Art Foundation SoHo.
As a draftsman and portraitist, the artist puts himself naturally in the background, his works are known better as his person. A look at the man Richards provides the film documentary about Peter Berlin. Richards drawings and photographs from all career stages of Berlin are valuable historical documents that capture the "golden years" of the american gay movement in the 70s. In the photo book "Allure" Richards numerous highlights of his erotic illustrations of male ideals.

I feel bad

I feel a little depressed today because of some minor or bigger incidents - sl and rl
My best female friend in sl told me I should write it here, what upset me .... then I would feel better.

I wonder, am I emotionally overwhelmed?
Or makes me the Christmas time more sensitiv?
I will lose next year a loved one - my father. When I think of it, it drives me tears in the eyes. He is ill with cancer and his doctor says that he will not celebrate the next Christmas. Of course, my family was ready on Christmas Eve to be together. But how the devil would have it, the weather has not cooperated. For me it was impossible to get out of my town. It snowed almost continuously for days and I needed with a friend more than an hour to make my car free from the snow. The road was too slippery even with winter tires. And hell, no bus, no train in use. Noone of the family has reached my parents yesterday :-(
Sure Christmas is not everything, every other day is just as good...

I wonder, am I emotionally overwhelmed?
Or makes me the Christmas time more sensitiv?
Well  a very good friend rl and sl sent me an email on the 30th of November with the message that he have cancer - lung cancer.
"Don’t worry about the operation.  According to the lung specialist it will be a recovery operation. But it is a heavy one: They will remove +/- half of my right lung and I hope I will be ok after that. Today I was told that they will operate on me on the 7th of December.  I guess that if all goes well I will be chasing boys in SL after 7 to 10 days in the hospital ;-).   (I wonder if I will have enough air to run after them in real life too )."
You see? Today it is the 25th of December - no sign of him... neither sl nor in rl.

I wonder, am I emotionally overwhelmed?
Or makes me the Christmas time more sensitiv?
But as I read the following in someones sl profile yesterday I could scream.

MASTER?? HAH!!!
To all of you guys who have the word "MASTER" anywhere in your name, or identify yourself as a "Master": You are f-ing pathetic. You are deeply disturbed and disgusting. I don't know why you have the need to want to dominate and subjugate others, but I for one feel sorry for you. You obviously have something wrong with you, and you have to control others in order to feel good about yourself. Probably you have a very small penis and are therefore insecure of your masculinity. Most likely impotent too. I have to admit that as a group you mostly amuse me. I love laughing in a "Master's" face. Please know that I look at you with both comtempt and a degree of pity. You are botched and defective.

Sub=SubHUMAN
To all of you guys who have the word "Sub" anywhere in your name, or identify yourself as a sub: You are as bad as if not worse than the "Masters". Why anyone would want to be dominated by another person is beyond me. Why were we given a sense of SELF if only to give up our free will to another? You are a disgrace. A disgusting wretch. You should be deeply ashamed of your willingness to be dominated and subjugated by the predators you call "Sir". You are beneath my notice and if you IM me you will be met with nothing but contempt.

I will leave these two simple statements in the room - no further comments.

I wonder, am I emotionally overwhelmed?
Or makes me the Christmas time more sensitiv?
I feel really attracted to someone in sl for a couple of weeks, but he knows nothing about? I have thought as long as I wear the skin of my dream man it can not happen to me - noone can top my dream man. But I was wrong. The way he talks to the people in group chat has made me aware of him. I listened to him for a while, enjoyed his short effective commands and statements which reminds me to a forgotten - also missed feelings  - power through words. Sure I was curious and checked his profile. To my surprise, his profile is very similar to mine...

Yesterday I droped him a Christmas gift.

[18:22]  Me: Good evening Mr. ... Sir!
Just a little gift for a great man Sir, as a token of my admiration and worship.
Merry Christmas Sir.
[18:22]  He: o,O
[18:23]  He: well thank you!
[18:23]  Me: :-) you have not seen it Sir
[18:23]  He: looking
[18:23]  Me: smiling
[18:24]  He: very nice - thank you
[18:24]  Me: :-) your welcome Sir
[18:25]  Me: a pity my bed time now
[18:25]  Me: hope you enjoy Christmas Sir
[18:25]  He: Thanks - and you too
[18:25]  Me: good night Sir
[18:25]  He: g'nite

As I logged off my heart feels happy in a way only because he has accepted the gift but as I layed in my bed and thought again about it my joy shrank suddenly. Well you can not know why because you do not know what was the gift. It is a Christmas stocking in a nice gift box. That is what he have seen. The damn stocking - nothing more. But what is a Christmas stocking when nothing is in it? I have constructed the Christmas stocking, that he has to touch it three times 1. for the particles, 2. for the Christmas song and 3. to recieve the gifts and the Christmas card. Well, I think he will never know what he got from me. The gift is lost somewhere in his inventory or probably he deleted it. Why I think so? Well, note the times in our conversation....   too short. I may be wrong, but no smile also...   He was not really happy - was even a Christmas stocking.
I am angry about myself - really.
And I am embarrassed to ask. It would sound as if I would assume him superficiality, no?
Maybe I think too much.

I hear into myself...

I feel bad.

☆---☆---☆ 2010

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Goh Mishima

Goh Mishima 1984 - 1989 (born Tsuyoshi Yoshida) specialised in what everyone seems to call “Yakazuza porn” although many of his men have fewer tattoos than genuine Japanese gangsters. Given the Japanese predilection for exploring every fetish imaginable someone had to cover this area. His name, of course, alludes to writer Yukio Mishima and there is a lot about his work that Mishima would have enjoyed. The Tom of Finland Foundation has a small selection of works.
Note: The Tom of Finland Foundation biography page says Goh Mishima died three days before Emperor Hirohito in “1988″. Since Hirohito actually died in 1989 the date what is listed here.

 

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All good

It is a bit of time between now and my last post and I would try to summarize in short form.
My business in rl is doing extremely well. I have decorated my shop very cosy - rustical, country style. It smells like apple, cinnamon and pine - real Christmas scent. My customers seem to like it, as well as my hospitalit and they love to come over for a cup of coffee and a small talk, and really they do not go without buying something. That is great. Since the 1st Advent I open my shop at Sunday for 2 or 3 hours also and every customer get a little bag with cookies made by me. Fortunately, a couple from France come last week for shopping to me. They visit me 2 - 3 times a year and have bought this time 2 high night stands from Biedermeier.
So far rl is all right, except my father's health.



Well and my sl.... a bit of everything.
I have seen it is not worth waisting the time waiting for a foto partner. So the erotic art I have pushed back for first. I concentrate more on building modules for the "Magic Chair" and the "Primbie House" "(more on this later).
The "Magic Chair" is now no longer "Magic Chair". I renamed it to the name "Magic Machine"... lol  ...sounds for me more interesting. I have already built 5 modules and tomorrow I will probably finish the 6th module.

And for those who llike to see the original buildings while listening ambient sound here is a free :-)  tp..

But please note the following after you have used the TP you will found yourself on a small island.

The round thing in front of you is the "Magic Machine".

Select midnight before you sit on it.
Then touch it and choose "warp" from  the menu.
Choose the high and select the module you like to see.

Close your eyes :-D
\o/  enjoy!

Aside from a few strange experiences and encounters, that are almost part of everyday life in sl, I met a couple in a sandbox. And after we rezzed our stuff to show it each other, we got the idea to sell our stuff together in one shop. The idea is to build nice things from all kategories for less money. But meanwhile it seems that they have lost their interest, almost every contact fails for some reason. So I will do it alone... The Christmas time started and I discovered that I really find enthusiasm to let myself drift with the music while creating nostalgic and noble Christmas stuff and decorations. 

Well, I have created a shop and a blog.... if you like to see my works please visit the "Primbie House" blog.  I sell my items on sl marketplace.

Yeah and I have met a really nice person. I roam around with her, mostly hunting. She is a lil needy but not intrusive. I dont know why but she gives me the feeling to protect her and sometimes I feel as I would speak like a father with her. Yeah and she really likes my works and is delighted when I show her a new creation, what motivates me even more, to build better and more unusual things. And of course she get everything for free what she want. Yes, it develops to a really good friendship without any kind of obligations.

Sure it would be more nice if she were a man.... because sometimes even if she is there I feel alone.

My dear friend Alpha was only once in sl after our last meeting, rl commitments make it impossible for him to come online atm.

I miss you much Alpha :-)

Sadao Hasegawa Tribute

Sadao Hasegawa (1945 - November 20, 1999) was a prominent Japanese graphic artist specializing in male erotica. His work is notable for superb technical skills, elaborate fantastic settings (occasionally reminiscent of William Blake and for incorporating Japanese, Indian, South-East Asian and African mythology. While focusing on depictions of muscular male physique, Hasegawa often turns to extreme sexual situations, bondage and SM themes, which, in the context of his stylized fantasy world, attain a nearly sacral intensity.
Hasegawa was born in the north of Japan and ended his life by committing suicide on November 20, 1999 in  Bangkok, Thailand.

Busy

One idea follows another and I can not build fast enough to realize them as soon as I like.
I briefly mentioned in a previous post that I have organized my landmarks. To this end I have teleported to the various locations to check whether they are still current. One of my favorite places is "Sorors Beach". Soror is a woman living in Japan and her preference is to create mainly trees and flowers. No ordinary plants. Strange formed vegetable and plants, colored textures (handmade by her), particles....  I was really happy once again to visit her wild garden, but when I arrive there ... all empty - barren land. Disappointment! That can not be. She has for years possessed the same land ... I checked her profile. Ah, the Lindens have wanted the land back for some reason. And yet what I can gather from her profile, she has found a new place and had not been idle in her creativity. Her new building is called "Tree of Trees". I used immediately the tp in her profile. And WOW!!! A world of colors, shapes, lights and as a whole a huge tree. I will not take the opportunity to describe her building. I can only encourage you to take a look. Really it need to be to visit. Take the opportunity here and now!
Well, caught by Sorors "Tree of Trees" and in terms of my dear friend want to give up the sim I got the idea to build me a home. And that it would be nice to live in a tree. I had never the idea to live in a house in sl. That would be too boring to me personally. Indeed I have it already in rl. So I started to build on my home tree. Meanwhile it becomes larger and larger and I have built more than 1600 prims. Haha and really I have thought about to look for another sandbox because of the prims.
Yeah, and I also have found out how the script of the magic chair works and think about to put my szenes into the magic chair as modules. So I have also built a new scene for my pictures and made a few snapshots. But they are not to my satisfaction The scene is in front of a mirror ... problem: in sl there is no mirror reflection. So the effect of the image is lacking. Every idea for a solution is welcome. More, it is relatively difficult to find the corresponding poses. For a different scene, I need a partner deffinitiv. 


At the weekend I spent few hours with Alpha (my dear friend). I am really grateful that he has taken time for me. It was warm hearted and open and it was as I was never away. I have told him about this blog, have given him the link. He have read the first entry...   he was pleasantly surprised and likes, if he have time, to follow my blog in the future. So I will try of course to report carefully - lol.

Ralf Paschke

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Finally

My dear friend, I have finally seen again - yesterday late afternoon. I am so happy. He had not much time. He was almost three weeks not at home, a lot of post has been accumulated and true at 8pm the news start. But we have over two hours stood arm in arm and talked (hehe and he was pleasantly surprised by my new look). The two hour have not been enough to tell everything. Well, the main thing is he is ok and that makes me happy. Not so happy makes me that he wants to give up the sim. Most likely the end of this month. Ok, he is right, he is most only three to four times a month online in sl. Too many transactions in rl ... This is a little minor setback for me. Plus that means my next home again Natoma-Sandbox. Well for us, it looks as if our paths will separate slowly and I wonder now what to do without him. Sure, life goes on. Well, and if all else fails.... I have his private email address... 
Now he is at home till Sunday and he has promised me to log into sl the evenings after the news.


With my erotic pictures, I am still not progressed. Also I was not long in sl to build something new. Oh yes, and my new "friend" has put the friendship back. So, the chance for a possible photo partner also lost.

What else?
Yeah, and I also have found a "Magic Chair" while rummaging on Xstreet. Mmm, what is a Magic Chair? A really cool thing. You sit on it and after you have chose a height and a so-called "module", you will be catapulted to the corresponding high and the scene is reconstructed before your eyes. The chair contains seven different szenes and two work plattforms. Not necessarily my style but the script is interesting and I want to build my own modules if I have find out how the script works.

And rl? 
hmmm, my father feels a little better again...

Todd Yeager

The now 42-year-old New Yorker Todd Yeager sold his first portrait at the age of twelve. Since the mid-80s he's been causing sensations with a variety of exhibitions. Member of the Leslie/Lohman Gay Art Foundation, most recently his drawings were included in the DIRTY LITTLE DRAWINGS collection, published by Bruno Gmünder in 2007. Todd Yeager's art is strong stuff. His drawings take us on a bracing and thrilling journey to the dark depths of manly desire and sexual abandon! Unsoiled, clean-shaven youth is not in Yeager's vocabulary. Instead, his artistry leads us in search of unadulterated masculinity. The unexpected intensity of these monochrome drawings sends a shiver down the spine of the observer and reveals the promising potential of this one-of-a-kind artist.

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Meanwhile

Today I have more time for sl. I made a few extra hours and so I can make me a free time this afternoon.
But as I want log into sl, I can not get a connection for some reason. The same problem as last days. No matter what viewer I use - no connection. And today I have a whole lot of time to finish the preparations for my second picture. This is annoying...  finally hope it does not take three hours like last time.



Well, what happened in the meantime?
I met my new friend, remember? He wanted to show me his home ...  He has done it. When I arrived I immediately noticed that he has a different skin. More body hair and no more children face - now with  beard. I really had to laugh when I saw this. However, he has shown me his home. It is a 1 / 4 sim ..  a beautiful tropical island with palm trees, a house - modern furniture and in every room a TV... LOL. Somewhat remote location on the sim, there is a huge volcano and if I understood him correctly, he want to installl 7-Seas. That would be great!! It is a really nice place - quiet. The end of the tour were two deck chairs on the waterfront where we made ourselves comfortable and talked for more than two hours. He offered me to use the sim to make my pictures. I do not know yet whether I make use of his tender. Although some pictures of me, for example in the water ....  or inside the volcano? Because he also showed me a hidden chamber inside the volcano. Red lights that looks super good on dark skin.
Yeah, and then I saw 2 days ago a guy in the sandbox. His avatar looks really hot and I would want him as a photo partner. But before I could speak to him he has already been logged off. Hope to see him again in the sandbox. Damn, I absolutely need a partner for the pictures....
I also have thought about to sell my pictures. Possibly in conjunction with the sex furniture and the accessories, then the customers can make their own snapshots. Just a thought ....

My dear friend was online yesterday morning as I was at work. He left me a message that he is on Sunday in Turkey for few days to visit family members. At Wednesday he is finally back home and want to meet me... 

3-D Gay Art

Too Short

The weekend was once again far too short. After I was on Friday night too long in SL, I got up late on Saturday. After I closed my shop I was at the birthday party of a friend, but could not stay as long because of the Sundays breakfast with my parents.
My father feels good today, tomorrow bad. At Sunday he felt worse and so  the common breakfast fell out. I ate breakfast alone. The sun shone all day and I have made myself comfortable on the patio - of course with my laptop. 
First I have to filter the landmarks. Although I was only 3 months away, many stores no longer exist or are in a different place. Also one of my favorite sims "Wolfs Hill" is gone. It is disappointing because you could make really cool pictures there.
I also started to build on a new scene for my pictures. But in the midst of my work I crashed for some reason and I got no way to login again, no matter with what viewer. That was really annoying, because when I had access again 3 hours later,  the rezzing time about 2,5 hours expired in the sandbox. So I found my building into the "Lost & Found" folder again. Of course in single parts - I had not yet linked. After that I had no desire to build and went shopping. And I bought some really cool sexy clothes ^^.
When I tried on, I got a teleport from Oiswiss ... celebrating party for the 3rd anniversary of the Gay Fun World. So I took the teleport, at least to congratulate. The club was full and all the guys in good spirits. The local chat full with fun gestures. After I have danced for a while, someone says in public chat that he could imagine to see me dancing on the pool in my sexy outfit. Loud laughter and bawling. "Yeah Ayhan at the pool," shouted a second and so on. So I danced at the pool for the guys. And yeah, I must admit I looked really hot (but felt not like this).  However, I had a really great conversation with a guy there. He says he would have great interest in my pictures. And he would be glad if I would take a few pictures of him and from his sl home. He sounds serious. And after I checked his profile (he is since 2005 in sl), I accepted his friendship request. Maybe he is the right one for my next picture...
I will see.

Enjoy Weekend

Slave Cage

Well, the first week in sl is over. My old friends, except one, now have other interests, in part a partnership...  yeah life goes on even in sl.
Yesterday night I stopped at the "Bull Ring". I was maybe 1 hour. Many new faces there. A little small talk with Oiswiss the owner of Gay Fun World ...
And then this beautiful face rez in front of my nose. I am sure he bought his skin in the same shop as I do, I guess it is the WILLIE skin. When I saw him, had to immediately think back to the idea of my friend with the pornographic images.

Well, and after he danced a while toward me, I asked him. At first he was excited, said, he already need a new profile picture. Then I told him that I speak about erotic pictures - bondage images. He had to ask first his boyfriend's permission, who then said no - surely.
But at all the no was not bad, because if I see now his face on the pic - too much too young for this kind of pictures.
So, I will start with pictures with me. Has some advantages for example eliminates any kind of scheduling. 
Today I started directly with the work for my first pic. Have built a slave cage and also made some snapshots.
Here are the result...