Saturday, December 31, 2011
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Monday, October 31, 2011
Again
I wonder if I have nothing better to do than regularly pick up me a slap from him?
Yes I can not help myself... I asked him again - that was a week ago yesterday.
It seemed an opportune time to be (hmmm for me).
I was hopeful to get the chance to make him happy but as expected, the answer was no again :-(
He said at this point in his life, he is better off alone.
That he is busy with all kinds of things, and he do not have time for someone in his life.
But even more that he would not deserve my care and devotion.
Really I wanted to hit my head on the keyboard...
For me he represents safety, strongness.... things that I admire.
Hmmm methinks that he is maybe afrait being hurt...
However I thought I can deal with his no easier because of the numbers of requests - I am already prepared.
But I was wrong, the short conversation with him fills me on one hand with happiness but on other hand it makes me more thoughtful.
Luckily, I have finally found my passion to the right time... at least as far for my creativity.
So since one week I am pritty busy with building on new products for a second business in SL what gives me no time to think.
But at least I could not help it to give him a Halloween gift.
Just to delight his heart a little and to put a little smile on his face.
The fact to know that he have smiled about the gift makes me feel happy.
Yes I can not help myself... I asked him again - that was a week ago yesterday.
It seemed an opportune time to be (hmmm for me).
I was hopeful to get the chance to make him happy but as expected, the answer was no again :-(
He said at this point in his life, he is better off alone.
That he is busy with all kinds of things, and he do not have time for someone in his life.
But even more that he would not deserve my care and devotion.
Really I wanted to hit my head on the keyboard...
For me he represents safety, strongness.... things that I admire.
Hmmm methinks that he is maybe afrait being hurt...
However I thought I can deal with his no easier because of the numbers of requests - I am already prepared.
But I was wrong, the short conversation with him fills me on one hand with happiness but on other hand it makes me more thoughtful.
Luckily, I have finally found my passion to the right time... at least as far for my creativity.
So since one week I am pritty busy with building on new products for a second business in SL what gives me no time to think.
But at least I could not help it to give him a Halloween gift.
Just to delight his heart a little and to put a little smile on his face.
The fact to know that he have smiled about the gift makes me feel happy.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Oh man
I can not believe it but my last post is really 3 months ago...!
So for all those who are interested in what I have done, here a short rewiew of the last 3 months...
Well two days after my second attemp "my hero" changed his profile again and took back the "Personal" tab. With this he finally killed all my dreams. Sure that can have many other reasons but I guess the real reason is what he already said to me.
I take it proud and who knows maybe sometime - bla bla bla - I will ask him again.
I am an optimistic person... lol.
However, after some strange encounters someone has found me. He suddenly appeared out of nowhere in front of me while I relaxed in the "Woods of Primal Nature".
An impressive personality full of power. And he has not only a pritty beautiful avatar, but also a good heart.
My heart he owned from the first moments he talked with me and I spent every free minute with him only for listening to him.
It seemed as he was the missing part of me and that he can see into my heart.
Well, what can I say ... everything was perfect with him and after about 2 months I married him in SL (btw. my first marrige in SL). But from the day we are married he totaly changed his mind and he was no longer the man I have met. No day went by with no drama. I am really very understanding of everything but what he presented me was too much even for me. I dont want to list at this point all what happened... for you it is enough to know that the many dramas and events have forced me to cancel the marriage.
However, I am a free man again and happy.
I let my creativity run wild again... trying new things what my business revived. I also rented a shop inworld and finailly created a group for all people who are interested in my products.
I look forwards with my little SL business and the group...
I look forwards with new friends I had found and
hmmm I look forwards with "my hero"...
Yep, I have my eyes on him - bad old habit - lol.
Oh man...
So for all those who are interested in what I have done, here a short rewiew of the last 3 months...
Well two days after my second attemp "my hero" changed his profile again and took back the "Personal" tab. With this he finally killed all my dreams. Sure that can have many other reasons but I guess the real reason is what he already said to me.
I take it proud and who knows maybe sometime - bla bla bla - I will ask him again.
I am an optimistic person... lol.
However, after some strange encounters someone has found me. He suddenly appeared out of nowhere in front of me while I relaxed in the "Woods of Primal Nature".
An impressive personality full of power. And he has not only a pritty beautiful avatar, but also a good heart.
My heart he owned from the first moments he talked with me and I spent every free minute with him only for listening to him.
It seemed as he was the missing part of me and that he can see into my heart.
Well, what can I say ... everything was perfect with him and after about 2 months I married him in SL (btw. my first marrige in SL). But from the day we are married he totaly changed his mind and he was no longer the man I have met. No day went by with no drama. I am really very understanding of everything but what he presented me was too much even for me. I dont want to list at this point all what happened... for you it is enough to know that the many dramas and events have forced me to cancel the marriage.
However, I am a free man again and happy.
I let my creativity run wild again... trying new things what my business revived. I also rented a shop inworld and finailly created a group for all people who are interested in my products.
I look forwards with my little SL business and the group...
I look forwards with new friends I had found and
hmmm I look forwards with "my hero"...
Yep, I have my eyes on him - bad old habit - lol.
Oh man...
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Colors
Again I have made some pictures of me and played a bit with the skysettings - amazing results.
Too naive
It is now more than three weeks ago since I returned back "home"...
My father died at the 1st of May, and though I for more than almost 3 years had to reckon with it every day it hit me really hard and somehow I did not want to realize it right.
While I constantly feel as if he is on vacation and immediately comes through the door my thoughts realize clear that I will see him never again, never hug him and talk to him again. Omg I miss him very much...
In general I am a strong man, have experienced a lot, but this makes me weak and unable. It makes me cry, hurts my heart...
However, I am trying to distract me mainly with sports (in moderation) and cooking. If the weather is good I do gardening, walking on the beach or organize an one-person barbeque - what is really bored - lol.
And of course I have my sl...
Normally I log into SL for relaxing from rl... for meeting my friends, talking, having fun and being creative... but in fact it seems more as I replace rl pain with sl pain.
Yeah you read that right, it is still the old theme, he... this one great guy.
He still attracted my heart like hell and this nagging feeling that he did not give me a try to make him happy drives me nuts.
However few days after my return I rented a larger piece of land with more prims.
And now a secret about me...
I love cake - sweets all kind - cookies, chocolates, candies, ice cream... I always have something like this at home. And for those who dont know, I started to create sweets in SL months ago - I like this little things which are reminiscent of the childhood.
So I got the idea what could be better than to build a cafe´ for all my sweet stuff?
Plus as long as I build and keep the group chat closed I do not think of him, easy I thought.
But during the entire time of my doing I was not able not to think of him. I wondered whether it would please him, whether he likes the landscape, if the background sounds are right all this stuff you know. (It is a farce, I love a man I do not know - lol). That again pushed me more and more to start a second attempt to tell him again about my desires and I wanted also show him that I mean it very seriously and that it is no short-term idea of me.
Yep and last week I did it and again his answer was no. But this time not because of the time difference but because of he have found someone and have no time for a second sub, he said. For a moment I had the feeling my heart would stop beating and I was not able to say anything - a really big disappointment.
Still.
But dispite of everything I like to show him how much he inspires me. I had so often this idea.. since I know he is there... I am sure he will see the beauty of the details created by my heart for him.
I really think about to reach him a notecard and landmark.
Once someone told me I love with the heart of a child.
Perhaps he is right.
Maybe I am too naive.
My father died at the 1st of May, and though I for more than almost 3 years had to reckon with it every day it hit me really hard and somehow I did not want to realize it right.
While I constantly feel as if he is on vacation and immediately comes through the door my thoughts realize clear that I will see him never again, never hug him and talk to him again. Omg I miss him very much...
In general I am a strong man, have experienced a lot, but this makes me weak and unable. It makes me cry, hurts my heart...
However, I am trying to distract me mainly with sports (in moderation) and cooking. If the weather is good I do gardening, walking on the beach or organize an one-person barbeque - what is really bored - lol.
And of course I have my sl...
Normally I log into SL for relaxing from rl... for meeting my friends, talking, having fun and being creative... but in fact it seems more as I replace rl pain with sl pain.
Yeah you read that right, it is still the old theme, he... this one great guy.
He still attracted my heart like hell and this nagging feeling that he did not give me a try to make him happy drives me nuts.
However few days after my return I rented a larger piece of land with more prims.
And now a secret about me...
I love cake - sweets all kind - cookies, chocolates, candies, ice cream... I always have something like this at home. And for those who dont know, I started to create sweets in SL months ago - I like this little things which are reminiscent of the childhood.
So I got the idea what could be better than to build a cafe´ for all my sweet stuff?
Plus as long as I build and keep the group chat closed I do not think of him, easy I thought.
But during the entire time of my doing I was not able not to think of him. I wondered whether it would please him, whether he likes the landscape, if the background sounds are right all this stuff you know. (It is a farce, I love a man I do not know - lol). That again pushed me more and more to start a second attempt to tell him again about my desires and I wanted also show him that I mean it very seriously and that it is no short-term idea of me.
Yep and last week I did it and again his answer was no. But this time not because of the time difference but because of he have found someone and have no time for a second sub, he said. For a moment I had the feeling my heart would stop beating and I was not able to say anything - a really big disappointment.
Still.
But dispite of everything I like to show him how much he inspires me. I had so often this idea.. since I know he is there... I am sure he will see the beauty of the details created by my heart for him.
I really think about to reach him a notecard and landmark.
Once someone told me I love with the heart of a child.
Perhaps he is right.
Maybe I am too naive.
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
brb
My father has finally lost his fight against cancer. The chemotherapy is set, it incurred no additional action.3 days ago it was his birthday. He has reduced remarkably, it was not to be overlooked. Because of the chemotherapy have been added some diseases ...... but I shall spare you.
However, I must leave the country for several weeks. My father would like to be buried at home (his last will) and with respect to it is to clarify all sorts of - I think in about 3 to 4 weeks I will be back.
However, I must leave the country for several weeks. My father would like to be buried at home (his last will) and with respect to it is to clarify all sorts of - I think in about 3 to 4 weeks I will be back.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Rising
I never had the desire to show my main avatar, but with this creation...
I have no words - just great!
Note: the images reminds me for some reason to a movie - an unique Viking drama "Valhalla Rising" by Nicolas Winding Refn.
Plot::
A man with a remarkable talent for violence must fight to survive when he sets out on an extraordinary journey in this fantasy from director Nicolas Winding Refn. One Eye (Mads Mikkelsen) is the nickname given to a nameless, mute warrior who has become a slave to Barde (Alexander Morton), a wealthy Scotsman who obtained One Eye for his remarkable fighting skills.
One Eye is a fierce warrior but shows little loyalty to his master, and when the opportunity presents itself, One Eye murders Barde and his mercenaries and sets off on his own, with a young boy (Maarten Stevenson) tagging along to speak on his behalf. Eager to leave Denmark behind in favor of freedom and adventure, One Eye throws in his lot with a band of Christian Vikings, who've set out on an ambitious quest to travel to Jerusalem and claim the Holy Land as their own. But the voyage to the Holy City is a difficult one, and the Vikings are met with violent resistance, forcing One Eye to rely on his talents as a warrior to protect himself and his young apprentice. Valhalla Rising received its North American premiere at the 2009 Toronto Film Festival.
Review:
Nicolas Winding Refn's Valhalla Rising does for Norse mythology what Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey did for space exploration. For that reason alone it's bound to be misunderstood, misinterpreted, and reviled by viewers in search of some easily digestible entertainment. Those who don't mind a bit of a challenge, however, will savor Refn's methodical, deliberate, and hallucinatory approach to the tale of a mute, one-eyed warrior's slow descent into hell. Broken up into six chapters, the film unfolds at a creeping pace. But it's never boring; with mounting dread, stunning cinematography, sudden blasts of violence, and a mesmerizing score by Peter Kyed and Peter Peter, it's unceasingly intense, and impossible to look away from.
Somewhere in the Scottish highlands, a stoic warrior named One-Eye (Mads Mikkelsen) languishes in a hillside cage. He is a prisoner, held against his will and forced to fight for his own survival. One day, while bathing in the river, he finds an arrowhead, and uses it to escape. After impaling his warden's head on a stake, One-Eye is followed over a hill by a young slave named Are (Maarten Stevenson), who previously tended to him while he was locked up. Eventually, the pair crosses paths with a group of Christian crusaders, and joins them on their journey to Jerusalem. After becoming lost at sea in a dense fog, the weary travelers discover that they have drifted far off-course. Now stranded in a strange land, they are forced to confront their deepest fears while struggling with the discovery that they are not alone.For many movie fans, the mere mention of Vikings or Norse mythology conjures up images of massive armies and epic battles. But Refn and co-screenwriter Roy Jacobsen are interested in deeper issues than humankind's preoccupation with clashing swords, and anyone hoping for an action-packed adventure is best advised to steer far clear of this enigmatic, meditative tale.
Giving the film the look and feel of a particularly stark Hieronymus Bosch painting, cinematographer Morten Søborg masterfully conveys One-Eye's supernatural clairvoyance and externalizes the supporting characters' existential paranoia, negating the need for dialogue through the use of captivating imagery that's steeped in symbolism and subtext. Patient viewers will find it a deeply rewarding, transcendently beautiful experience.(Clocking in at just 90 minutes, Valhalla Rising takes us on a brutal, cerebral journey that's unusually profound for a film of such brevity, effectively proving that a film needn't be forebodingly cumbersome in order to tell a serious-minded, richly textured story. ~ Jason Buchanan, Rov)
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