Tatsuya Naoki

 

Heart sounds

Well, the truth hurts like hell.
After a bad attemp to "stalk" him - no futher comments - I finally had a conversation with my hero. I mean more than "hello Sir", "hope you are well, Sir"...
The conversation was not long but intensely, at least for me.
He was very understanding but his decision is certain - no partnership with anyone at this point in his life.
Hmmm what patnership?
All what I want is to know more about him. I want to know about his dreams, his desires, his fears....
I want his trust and that he like me a bit. I want to see him happy. I want to make him smile. And sure at least I want to find out if our characters are matching - that is it!
But even the opportunity to work on it, he denied to me.
My friendship is not welcome...  he said I would always pressing for more.
Pressure creates counterpressure...  I would be stupid to press for more as he is willing to give me.
I cannot convince him that it will never becoming like this.
I cried a lot. It still drives tears in my eyes and my heart hurts.

Well, I have to respect his wishes...
So all my efforts were in vain?
Maybe I was not patient enough, maybe not considerate enough?
I really wasted one year like my friend said?

Now I try hard to bann him out of my heart. No thoughts and dreams of him longer...
I disable the group chat when I log in SL, but also noticed that he leaves the group chat one hour earlier than usual. I dont know if he do it because of me or whatever....
I keep myself busy with all kind of stuff.
Well, at time it does not really work for me - haha! - I often find myself thinking about him no matter with what I am busy.

However, in the meantime my dear friend has turned away from me a bit and it seems as if his dreams and hopes in relation to me have been extinguished.
I was also able to celebrate my now 5th Rezzday... 
...and hell I lost a good RL and SL friend (I mentioned him in one of my first posts), the cancer has defeated him.

Sadao Hasegawa

  

Masterpiece

If you were the Mona Lisa
You'd be hanging in the Louvre
Everyone would come to see you
You'd be impossible to move
It seems to me is what you are
A rare and priceless work of art
Stay behind your velvet rope
But I will not renounce all hope

And I'm right by your side
Like a thief in the night
I stand in front of a masterpiece
And I can't tell you why
It hurts so much
To be in love with the masterpiece
Cause after all
Nothing's indestructible

From the moment I first saw you
All the darkness turned to light
An impressionistic painting
Tiny particles of light
It seem to me is what you're like
The "look but please don't touch me" type
And honestly it can't be fun
To always be the chosen one.

And I'm right by your side
Like a thief in the night
I stand in front of a masterpiece
And I can't tell you why
It hurts so much
To be in love with a masterpiece
Cause after all
Nothing's indestructible