Saturday, February 18, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
Get Stuck
Well, SL is really a surprisingly emotional space...
Shortly after my last attempt to tell my hero about my desires, a search for a shop has brought a wonderful man into my life. He is not only a great builder and I have learned a lot from him, but also an excellent entertainer and listener. A man with heart and mind and he has become in a short time one of my best friends. Moreover, through its constant presence, he has managed to forget my hero at times, but he also stopped me from any work that all my projects are stalled.
I have realized it just before Christmas, because on my plan was in the first place a Christmas present for my hero. This was especially important to me because I got the idea of a necklace long time ago and wanted to realize this idea necessarily. And secondly, Christmas presents for the members of my both groups.
But my new friend let me not a minute. It was incredible. Even my request to let me do my job made no big impression on him. Unfortunately it was at this point already too late to say clear that I feel disturbed by him.
I tried to cope with the situation confidently without appearing rude. I encouraged him to deal with all sorts of stuff - lol - build this - build that you know. I even set up a shop for him ... but as said, he is a good builder and all tasks were completed quickly. So I really created in a general state of stress and under high pressure the Christmas gifts in the last minute.
The high light was the handing of the Christmas present to my hero.
The thought of it makes the anger rising in me again. In one chat window my hero, my friend in the other...asked me where I am, what I do and no matter what I do he wants a taxi. I said NO - NOT NOW, but he dont stopped asking like a crazy chick "Tp me..., are you angry with me? Where are you?...".
In addition, I was so much excited (my heartbeat was racing with 180 beats per minute and my hands trembled) - then the feeling of joy, awe, expectation because of my hero... , yea and hope that he likes the necklace, and maybe even me a little.
He said that he noticed his initials on the necklace...
And me? Nothing!!
N O T H I N G ! ! !
But this was my chance, if you understand.
My chance to engage him in conversation.
I scrolled back the conversation about 20 times... or more.
THIS WAS MY CHANCE!! DAMN!!!!!
Gosh, I am sooooo stupid!!!
Yep, we say, "wasted, wasted said the cock" ... looool - hmmm not funny.
Do not get me wrong, I did not want to blame my friend for the fact that I have screwed up the conversation with my hero. I was not focused....
However, recently my dear friend confessed me that he loves me deeply...
This makes the situation even more crazier, my dear friend wants me, but I feel attracted to someone else who does not want me. Great!
The result of all that is I feel after about two stressy month tired, dissatisfied with myself and my work (or what remained to me) and my mind seems to be empty.
While I inspire my friend he takes all my inspiration...
Well, and to top this all my absolutly best friend said to me "do not waste another year..." (meant with my hero). So to speak her good wishes for my year 2012.
Waste? Thank you very much!
That hurts me a lot .... Even if he gives me no chance, I have never wasted time - not one second.
This made me very upset (still) and for about three days I have only spoken to her the bare minimum.
The only thing left to say "New year - new luck"!
But stop... is meant a new chance for the non acquired in the old year or new luck with something new?
Most likely both.
Ok enough - I shut my mouth...
Shortly after my last attempt to tell my hero about my desires, a search for a shop has brought a wonderful man into my life. He is not only a great builder and I have learned a lot from him, but also an excellent entertainer and listener. A man with heart and mind and he has become in a short time one of my best friends. Moreover, through its constant presence, he has managed to forget my hero at times, but he also stopped me from any work that all my projects are stalled.
I have realized it just before Christmas, because on my plan was in the first place a Christmas present for my hero. This was especially important to me because I got the idea of a necklace long time ago and wanted to realize this idea necessarily. And secondly, Christmas presents for the members of my both groups.
But my new friend let me not a minute. It was incredible. Even my request to let me do my job made no big impression on him. Unfortunately it was at this point already too late to say clear that I feel disturbed by him.
I tried to cope with the situation confidently without appearing rude. I encouraged him to deal with all sorts of stuff - lol - build this - build that you know. I even set up a shop for him ... but as said, he is a good builder and all tasks were completed quickly. So I really created in a general state of stress and under high pressure the Christmas gifts in the last minute.
The high light was the handing of the Christmas present to my hero.
The thought of it makes the anger rising in me again. In one chat window my hero, my friend in the other...asked me where I am, what I do and no matter what I do he wants a taxi. I said NO - NOT NOW, but he dont stopped asking like a crazy chick "Tp me..., are you angry with me? Where are you?...".
In addition, I was so much excited (my heartbeat was racing with 180 beats per minute and my hands trembled) - then the feeling of joy, awe, expectation because of my hero... , yea and hope that he likes the necklace, and maybe even me a little.
He said that he noticed his initials on the necklace...
And me? Nothing!!
N O T H I N G ! ! !
But this was my chance, if you understand.
My chance to engage him in conversation.
I scrolled back the conversation about 20 times... or more.
THIS WAS MY CHANCE!! DAMN!!!!!
Gosh, I am sooooo stupid!!!
Yep, we say, "wasted, wasted said the cock" ... looool - hmmm not funny.
Do not get me wrong, I did not want to blame my friend for the fact that I have screwed up the conversation with my hero. I was not focused....
However, recently my dear friend confessed me that he loves me deeply...
This makes the situation even more crazier, my dear friend wants me, but I feel attracted to someone else who does not want me. Great!
The result of all that is I feel after about two stressy month tired, dissatisfied with myself and my work (or what remained to me) and my mind seems to be empty.
While I inspire my friend he takes all my inspiration...
Well, and to top this all my absolutly best friend said to me "do not waste another year..." (meant with my hero). So to speak her good wishes for my year 2012.
Waste? Thank you very much!
That hurts me a lot .... Even if he gives me no chance, I have never wasted time - not one second.
This made me very upset (still) and for about three days I have only spoken to her the bare minimum.
The only thing left to say "New year - new luck"!
But stop... is meant a new chance for the non acquired in the old year or new luck with something new?
Most likely both.
Ok enough - I shut my mouth...
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