Sadao Hasegawa Tribute

Sadao Hasegawa (1945 - November 20, 1999) was a prominent Japanese graphic artist specializing in male erotica. His work is notable for superb technical skills, elaborate fantastic settings (occasionally reminiscent of William Blake and for incorporating Japanese, Indian, South-East Asian and African mythology. While focusing on depictions of muscular male physique, Hasegawa often turns to extreme sexual situations, bondage and SM themes, which, in the context of his stylized fantasy world, attain a nearly sacral intensity.
Hasegawa was born in the north of Japan and ended his life by committing suicide on November 20, 1999 in  Bangkok, Thailand.

Busy

One idea follows another and I can not build fast enough to realize them as soon as I like.
I briefly mentioned in a previous post that I have organized my landmarks. To this end I have teleported to the various locations to check whether they are still current. One of my favorite places is "Sorors Beach". Soror is a woman living in Japan and her preference is to create mainly trees and flowers. No ordinary plants. Strange formed vegetable and plants, colored textures (handmade by her), particles....  I was really happy once again to visit her wild garden, but when I arrive there ... all empty - barren land. Disappointment! That can not be. She has for years possessed the same land ... I checked her profile. Ah, the Lindens have wanted the land back for some reason. And yet what I can gather from her profile, she has found a new place and had not been idle in her creativity. Her new building is called "Tree of Trees". I used immediately the tp in her profile. And WOW!!! A world of colors, shapes, lights and as a whole a huge tree. I will not take the opportunity to describe her building. I can only encourage you to take a look. Really it need to be to visit. Take the opportunity here and now!
Well, caught by Sorors "Tree of Trees" and in terms of my dear friend want to give up the sim I got the idea to build me a home. And that it would be nice to live in a tree. I had never the idea to live in a house in sl. That would be too boring to me personally. Indeed I have it already in rl. So I started to build on my home tree. Meanwhile it becomes larger and larger and I have built more than 1600 prims. Haha and really I have thought about to look for another sandbox because of the prims.
Yeah, and I also have found out how the script of the magic chair works and think about to put my szenes into the magic chair as modules. So I have also built a new scene for my pictures and made a few snapshots. But they are not to my satisfaction The scene is in front of a mirror ... problem: in sl there is no mirror reflection. So the effect of the image is lacking. Every idea for a solution is welcome. More, it is relatively difficult to find the corresponding poses. For a different scene, I need a partner deffinitiv. 


At the weekend I spent few hours with Alpha (my dear friend). I am really grateful that he has taken time for me. It was warm hearted and open and it was as I was never away. I have told him about this blog, have given him the link. He have read the first entry...   he was pleasantly surprised and likes, if he have time, to follow my blog in the future. So I will try of course to report carefully - lol.

Ralf Paschke

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Finally

My dear friend, I have finally seen again - yesterday late afternoon. I am so happy. He had not much time. He was almost three weeks not at home, a lot of post has been accumulated and true at 8pm the news start. But we have over two hours stood arm in arm and talked (hehe and he was pleasantly surprised by my new look). The two hour have not been enough to tell everything. Well, the main thing is he is ok and that makes me happy. Not so happy makes me that he wants to give up the sim. Most likely the end of this month. Ok, he is right, he is most only three to four times a month online in sl. Too many transactions in rl ... This is a little minor setback for me. Plus that means my next home again Natoma-Sandbox. Well for us, it looks as if our paths will separate slowly and I wonder now what to do without him. Sure, life goes on. Well, and if all else fails.... I have his private email address... 
Now he is at home till Sunday and he has promised me to log into sl the evenings after the news.


With my erotic pictures, I am still not progressed. Also I was not long in sl to build something new. Oh yes, and my new "friend" has put the friendship back. So, the chance for a possible photo partner also lost.

What else?
Yeah, and I also have found a "Magic Chair" while rummaging on Xstreet. Mmm, what is a Magic Chair? A really cool thing. You sit on it and after you have chose a height and a so-called "module", you will be catapulted to the corresponding high and the scene is reconstructed before your eyes. The chair contains seven different szenes and two work plattforms. Not necessarily my style but the script is interesting and I want to build my own modules if I have find out how the script works.

And rl? 
hmmm, my father feels a little better again...

Todd Yeager

The now 42-year-old New Yorker Todd Yeager sold his first portrait at the age of twelve. Since the mid-80s he's been causing sensations with a variety of exhibitions. Member of the Leslie/Lohman Gay Art Foundation, most recently his drawings were included in the DIRTY LITTLE DRAWINGS collection, published by Bruno Gmünder in 2007. Todd Yeager's art is strong stuff. His drawings take us on a bracing and thrilling journey to the dark depths of manly desire and sexual abandon! Unsoiled, clean-shaven youth is not in Yeager's vocabulary. Instead, his artistry leads us in search of unadulterated masculinity. The unexpected intensity of these monochrome drawings sends a shiver down the spine of the observer and reveals the promising potential of this one-of-a-kind artist.

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Meanwhile

Today I have more time for sl. I made a few extra hours and so I can make me a free time this afternoon.
But as I want log into sl, I can not get a connection for some reason. The same problem as last days. No matter what viewer I use - no connection. And today I have a whole lot of time to finish the preparations for my second picture. This is annoying...  finally hope it does not take three hours like last time.



Well, what happened in the meantime?
I met my new friend, remember? He wanted to show me his home ...  He has done it. When I arrived I immediately noticed that he has a different skin. More body hair and no more children face - now with  beard. I really had to laugh when I saw this. However, he has shown me his home. It is a 1 / 4 sim ..  a beautiful tropical island with palm trees, a house - modern furniture and in every room a TV... LOL. Somewhat remote location on the sim, there is a huge volcano and if I understood him correctly, he want to installl 7-Seas. That would be great!! It is a really nice place - quiet. The end of the tour were two deck chairs on the waterfront where we made ourselves comfortable and talked for more than two hours. He offered me to use the sim to make my pictures. I do not know yet whether I make use of his tender. Although some pictures of me, for example in the water ....  or inside the volcano? Because he also showed me a hidden chamber inside the volcano. Red lights that looks super good on dark skin.
Yeah, and then I saw 2 days ago a guy in the sandbox. His avatar looks really hot and I would want him as a photo partner. But before I could speak to him he has already been logged off. Hope to see him again in the sandbox. Damn, I absolutely need a partner for the pictures....
I also have thought about to sell my pictures. Possibly in conjunction with the sex furniture and the accessories, then the customers can make their own snapshots. Just a thought ....

My dear friend was online yesterday morning as I was at work. He left me a message that he is on Sunday in Turkey for few days to visit family members. At Wednesday he is finally back home and want to meet me... 

3-D Gay Art

Too Short

The weekend was once again far too short. After I was on Friday night too long in SL, I got up late on Saturday. After I closed my shop I was at the birthday party of a friend, but could not stay as long because of the Sundays breakfast with my parents.
My father feels good today, tomorrow bad. At Sunday he felt worse and so  the common breakfast fell out. I ate breakfast alone. The sun shone all day and I have made myself comfortable on the patio - of course with my laptop. 
First I have to filter the landmarks. Although I was only 3 months away, many stores no longer exist or are in a different place. Also one of my favorite sims "Wolfs Hill" is gone. It is disappointing because you could make really cool pictures there.
I also started to build on a new scene for my pictures. But in the midst of my work I crashed for some reason and I got no way to login again, no matter with what viewer. That was really annoying, because when I had access again 3 hours later,  the rezzing time about 2,5 hours expired in the sandbox. So I found my building into the "Lost & Found" folder again. Of course in single parts - I had not yet linked. After that I had no desire to build and went shopping. And I bought some really cool sexy clothes ^^.
When I tried on, I got a teleport from Oiswiss ... celebrating party for the 3rd anniversary of the Gay Fun World. So I took the teleport, at least to congratulate. The club was full and all the guys in good spirits. The local chat full with fun gestures. After I have danced for a while, someone says in public chat that he could imagine to see me dancing on the pool in my sexy outfit. Loud laughter and bawling. "Yeah Ayhan at the pool," shouted a second and so on. So I danced at the pool for the guys. And yeah, I must admit I looked really hot (but felt not like this).  However, I had a really great conversation with a guy there. He says he would have great interest in my pictures. And he would be glad if I would take a few pictures of him and from his sl home. He sounds serious. And after I checked his profile (he is since 2005 in sl), I accepted his friendship request. Maybe he is the right one for my next picture...
I will see.

Enjoy Weekend

Slave Cage

Well, the first week in sl is over. My old friends, except one, now have other interests, in part a partnership...  yeah life goes on even in sl.
Yesterday night I stopped at the "Bull Ring". I was maybe 1 hour. Many new faces there. A little small talk with Oiswiss the owner of Gay Fun World ...
And then this beautiful face rez in front of my nose. I am sure he bought his skin in the same shop as I do, I guess it is the WILLIE skin. When I saw him, had to immediately think back to the idea of my friend with the pornographic images.

Well, and after he danced a while toward me, I asked him. At first he was excited, said, he already need a new profile picture. Then I told him that I speak about erotic pictures - bondage images. He had to ask first his boyfriend's permission, who then said no - surely.
But at all the no was not bad, because if I see now his face on the pic - too much too young for this kind of pictures.
So, I will start with pictures with me. Has some advantages for example eliminates any kind of scheduling. 
Today I started directly with the work for my first pic. Have built a slave cage and also made some snapshots.
Here are the result...

Tom of Finland.

Touko Laaksonen, best known by his Tom of Finland (08 May 1920 – 07 November 1991) was a finnish artist notable for his stylized homoerotik and fetish art and and his influence on late twentieth century gay culture. He has been called the "most influential creator of gay pornographic images" by cultural historian Joseph W. Slade.

Over the course of four decades he produced some 3500 illustrations, mostly featuring men with exaggerated primary and secondary sex traits: heavily muscled torsos, limbs, and buttocks, and large penises. Tight or partially removed clothing showed off these traits, with the penis often visible as a bulge in tight trousers or prominently displayed for the viewer. His drawings frequently feature two or more men either immediately preceding or during explicit sexual activity. Nearly all of his characters were versatile and obviously enjoyed the bottom as well as the top role in sexual intercourse.

 

 

 

 

 

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Old New Idea

Yesterday much happend in sl.
First I have found really good  hair for my avi´s here and I feel more finish... lol.
Later, I wanted to log off, I saw a good old friend of mine come online. He immed me immediately. A big HELLO, how are you and what have you done in the meantime... I'm so happy about it. not least because
he is so far the only one who has welcomed me so warmly.
Anyway, after we had chatted for some time (meanwhile he tped me to his place), he made me the glorious proposal to make up where I ended...  with erotic photography of men in sl. I have made to date only about
15 photo shoots (the most with him) and the preparation was always a hell of work. But was much fun.
Mmmm it requires also a suitable model-partner. Many men understand the question to photograph them alone or with me completly wrong, thinking I will take pictures while during the sexual act, or whatever. I should look at the "Bull Ring" a gay dance club the next few days. I have many good ideas ... will see.

Well and as I mentioned in the blog description a small issue in this blog will be erotic guy art - photography as well as drawn art, which I prefer for this blog. Hope you will like them  :-)

Note: no sign of my dear friend atm.

Me and my Avatar

I do not know what reasons you had designed your avatar the way it looks now (if you should play sl or a similar game). When I started SL, the first four months or so I ran around with the newbie skin. I wondered about my friends, whom changed their skin like their clothes. Then I realized at some point, I also can change my appearance, just in the same way like my clothes... lol. I started to play with the different free skins, shapes, eyes, hair etc. I found in my inventory... changed them, combined them, but was never really the skin that suits me 100%. Then I started to bought skins, shapes, body hair and so on...  And while I was messing around with my avatar, I had to repeatedly say that I felt uncomfortable with my skin in any way and I realized it was the color of my skin. So I started to create two different looks.
The first look is a man with a light tinted skin, blue eyes and dark hair... I will say that is more me, the man
I am in rl (and also near my rl look). The second look is a man with a black skin with blue/brown eyes and dark brown or black hair. He is more the reflection of the man of my dreams, they man I want to look like. And I have realized even more I worn the skins like my current mood. While the man with the white skin is more communicative, the man with the black skin looks more for solitude.
However, I headed first to the store with the skins. A mecca of great skins... namely black skins. You can not imagine what that means for me. It was really difficult to find a black skin in sl. And here....   I am stunned by this wide range of realistic natural and masculine skins and run like an excited chick through the shop. Suddenly I saw him - WEST. I mean a black male skin named West. Omg what a great skin! What a face... the shape of the head, the winkles around the mouth... the face gently, kindly, but dominant. I falled directly in love with this skin. I have not think twice and bought it immediately. The price are high but justified. Then I saw it attracted on me. I am overwhelmed and words fail me (even today). I would like to see constantly in this magnificent face. The man of my dreams... ?! I have chose a white skin named ANDRE also, he looks a little gloomy - but attractive to me... but I am not really sure if the Andre skin is the right, something is missing...
However, I joined the group.
I feel great with this magical black skin, fitting hair is still missing.


Although I have LM´s from some interesting shops, I ran aimlessly through sl to find the right hair for "my two guys"... but tomorrow...

Express yourself

Today is Sunday. After I had breakfast I wrote my first post on this blog. I went early in the afternoon to my parents for dinner. That is something new in my rl... I could not imagined this 3 months ago. It was nice, even sad (but that maybe to another time). Around  7pm, I went back home.

Now in sl I walk on the sim and enjoy to be "at home". Nothing have changed . No new furniture, trees, flowers, animals, animations ... nothing except the altar.. and expect my attitude to life and about myself. I feel free and I like to tell my great friend as fast as I can about it. He was not online. I know it because yesterday I immed him to let him know that I am back and thank him for the great welcome, the poem and all. Omg, my heart beats faster if I imagine to stand in front of him again...  adult, happy, free... the man I always was and lost..

Today I want to look for a new skin in sl. Last night as I lay in my bed I got the idea that it would be nice if I wear a skin what makes me look more like a man, a skin that is more my type - just I.  And I will also start to organize my inventory. Out with the whole old stuff. 

That makes me feel great.

Back

After a little forced break of 3 months, to get distance from the events and to know what I really want, I am back in sl. And I have started with this blog because of this (I hope) "new beginning" in sl.
Meanwhile much has happened in rl. I have renovate my shop and ordered new furniture. The contact to the customers seems better as before and I had more as one discussion with my father. The break has done me well and I really felt glad seeing again my old friends.

I'm pleasantly surprised that I can already tell about my first login two days ago because for me it was a start full of love even though I was alone. I am also surprised that, of about 10 "good friends" with whom I was together every day, about which I have cared and supported so much, with whom I've laughed and cried, only two of them have missed me (three of them not even reply on my IM after hours).
I had no direct expectations of what happens when I log in. I logged into sl at the place (still his sim), on which I am logged off. The place where I left him in tears, screaming but knowing it is the best for me. It needed a little time until the sim was totally rezzed (at least because of graphic settings in preferences). When the picture was clearer, I found there I will say a kind of an small altar. The first thing I thought he has given up the sim because of the altar. But after few seconds I noticed a rl picture of me at the top of the altar.
I have not known what I to think of it in this moment. My first thought was it looks as if I am already dead. What he has done here? Sat on the pillow and praying? I smiled at this thought and about the idea of seeing him sitting there in front of the altar with the picture of me. Anyway, I tested all stuff at the altar if something happens when I touch it (just his style) while perceiving what for a wonderful work he have done here. The two flowers, the choice of the image, the candles, the colors... each part has its significance. As I touched the picture a window opened and I received two note cards written by him. The first is a kind of explanation as to why he has said some things, expected and done. It was not necessary because I had already understood in this period of my absence. But it was a subsequent confirmation that I had understood correctly. Well, I dont want to go further and it does not belong here. As I read the note card I realized that he expected me back (I was not sure). And I felt very honored because I know about his less time and also how long it takes to write this long explanation.
The second note card containing a poem by him. I am not necessarily a friend of poems. Sure I can understand the depth and strength of the words, and the feeling that will be brought to expression, but I have never had the idea to write a poem or even to look for it. Mmmm perhaps, for me never give the situation to write a poem for someone. But why I have never thought writing a poem for this great man? Or why not for ....   Whatever the reason, his poem has really impressed me and I like to publish it here at this point.
The name of the author does not matter.

******************************************
Pedestal

When I met u
I felt a powerful thrust of hope
Raising me beyond the oppressing gravity of habits

Of self imposed confinements
Of social limitations
Hypocrisies, rules and fears.

And then I could see it all clearly from above
As I was orbiting the utopian world of our togetherness.

And what I saw was the deformed, destroyed and deserted pedestal
Which I had built for you
and on which I had placed you.

But by so doing
I, the creator of this illusion,
felt inferior to my creation.
I felt small (by comparison to your divinity)
and insignificant
and unable to offer u the inhumanly large amounts of
adoration
which I had convinced myself that u deserved..

And I hated u like we often hate whatever we initially admired as
superior to our selves.
or whatever makes us feel small.
Or what we fear.

In short, I forgot that you are human too
I thus I lost both
myself
And you.

****************************************

Granted, it touches me very much. I read it again and again. I feel a bit ashamed in any way looking back on our short but intense togetherness. I have learned so much about myself the time as I was with him... Ultimately, about my almost insurmountable shyness, he was the one who has caused this a little. Moreover, he opened my eyes with his generosity, his sympathetic understanding and his wise advice, about my deep desires and needs. I just needed some time to realize that for me (for both rl and sl) what he had recognized long before. I still love him. I can not thank him enough for all what he done for me. There is no greater man for me than him.

Well, at all I am happy finally.

I can not wait to see him again...